Emotional support

Grief

Our society today does not make it easy for us to grieve. Grief is a process, not a state and in order to reestablish our own lives, we need to be allowed to grieve successfully. Grief is a natural response to a loss and it takes time to work through.

There are many stages of grief. You may or may not experience all or any of them, as grief is an individual response. Some of the stages are listed below. It is important that you do not try to grieve to these stages, as the feelings and emotions you experience will come naturally.

Shock

Particularly if the death is sudden, there is a sense of shock, and numbness. Shock is there as a type of “protector”. Initially it saves you from the harshness of what has happened. It may last for hours or even days.

Denial

You don’t believe the death has occurred. (It hasn’t happened feeling.)

Emotional release

As the shock wears off, you will experience many mixed feelings. These feelings need to be expressed and worked through.

Anger

Why have they left me alone? Why has God done this to me? Why wasn’t it someone else? These questions and many more you will ask yourself over and over again.

Guilt

Guilt always seems to be experienced, and questions such as, did I do enough? or could I have done more? or should it have been me? are often asked.

Panic

Is the feeling that you cannot cope.

Depression and Loneliness

A feeling of isolation and withdrawal from normal activity.

Physical Symptoms

Tiredness, listlessness, aches of various kinds, coldness and/or sweating.

Readjustment

It is important that you work through your feelings one at a time and don’t bottle them up.

No one can tell you how to cope with your grief as it is an individual experience. Try to avoid alcohol, or drugs such as sedatives as these can suppress your normal reactions and can cause problems later.

As time goes by you will fi nd you are able to talk more about your loss and your loved one. Slowly you will start to get back into a normal routine. While you are experiencing grief it is important not to cut yourself off from your family and friends as you will need their support.

Try to talk to someone who is understanding and that you can trust, as it can be helpful to bring your feelings out into the open.

There is no time limit to ones grief. It can take months even years to work through.

Acceptance

Acceptance of your loss is the fi nal stage of your grief.

Help Available

If you feel that you just can’t cope with what is happening, and you feel you need outside help, don’t hesitate to seek professional advice. Your Doctor, Minister or Funeral Director at the Cleveland Funeral Home is trained to understand what you are going through and if needed can refer you to counsellors, who will listen and help without judgement.